I missed you so much, my blog! It's been a long time. I've been so busy doing nothing. I wish I can make more out of this life. I don't want to face my Savior empty-handed. I want to spend my life doing things that would matter in eternity.
God, I am sorry. Please help me.
Monday, December 20, 2010
Monday, November 29, 2010
Meeting tomorrow. And class at 7 o'clock. Been to office this whole day but was not able to finish stuff. Ah, this life that I now have, is this really what I desired originally? Honestly, no!
I guess I've stopped living a long time ago. Long time ago that I can't remember exactly when.
There is more to life. There should be more to it than what I have at present? But what?
I guess I've stopped living a long time ago. Long time ago that I can't remember exactly when.
There is more to life. There should be more to it than what I have at present? But what?
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
When will my time come? No, it's not about marriage this time. I am talking about my PhD... But then I keep on delaying things. I should act sooner, before I retire. I am now 32.
I envy my former classmates. Why does it seem that they live such a simple and carefree life? I wish I could do the same....
It's 10:51 PM and I am still here wasting time. I gotta go. Byers!
I envy my former classmates. Why does it seem that they live such a simple and carefree life? I wish I could do the same....
It's 10:51 PM and I am still here wasting time. I gotta go. Byers!
Monday, November 1, 2010
It's 1:48AM here. I logged-in an hour and a half ago but ended up reading the posts in my blog roll. I was meaning to post something here awhile back but I've completely forgotten about it now.
Yeah, I still desire for that one thing but I don't know how and when...
I keep writing, rewriting and erasing my post. Maybe I should just sleep and post again some other time.
Yeah, I still desire for that one thing but I don't know how and when...
I keep writing, rewriting and erasing my post. Maybe I should just sleep and post again some other time.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Reading through some random blogs, I keep babbling to myself: when will I ever get married?
Duh! Why does this thought always seem to posses me? Arghhh!
OTH, the college seem to have fallen short on some things. A bad feeling...
OTH 2, friends emailed to remind us of our meeting exactly 6 years ago.I miss those days
OTH 3, I need to finish checking those papers so I can finally turn over the result tomorrow.
OTH 4, it's already 11:38pm on my compi and I am still wasting time writing this blog when I need to accomplish item on OTH 3.
I miss my family. I miss my nephew and his ever-wonderful-growing-teeth.
Currently listening: LJs program, forgot the segment actually. Isn't it Corrine May's song she is playing?
Duh! Why does this thought always seem to posses me? Arghhh!
OTH, the college seem to have fallen short on some things. A bad feeling...
OTH 2, friends emailed to remind us of our meeting exactly 6 years ago.I miss those days
OTH 3, I need to finish checking those papers so I can finally turn over the result tomorrow.
OTH 4, it's already 11:38pm on my compi and I am still wasting time writing this blog when I need to accomplish item on OTH 3.
I miss my family. I miss my nephew and his ever-wonderful-growing-teeth.
Currently listening: LJs program, forgot the segment actually. Isn't it Corrine May's song she is playing?
Monday, October 25, 2010
I am often caught saying that i'll get married after 40 years. but deep inside my heart is this question so stubborn, unwilling to take its leave: is there someone out there for me? who is he? what is he made of? will there ever come a time for our path to me meet? maybe after 40 years.
Ah, I should stop mentioning about '40 years'.
I still think of him often but it seems very obvious that he is not for me. I wish i can completely forget him. Forget everything about him!
Ah, I should stop mentioning about '40 years'.
I still think of him often but it seems very obvious that he is not for me. I wish i can completely forget him. Forget everything about him!
Friday, October 15, 2010
Don't know but I feel like reposting this link related to pregnancy
Will this be helpful to me someday? Will I ever get married? I don't know....
Will this be helpful to me someday? Will I ever get married? I don't know....
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
I wish I can have more time for sleeping. I would really want to rest. I need to really rest but got lots, mountains, of things to do.
There is conflict at our workplace right now.... ahh, stressful! Lord, please help me to take part in the resolution of this conflict....
Peacemaker's Pledge
http://www.peacemaker.net
A Commitment to Biblical Conflict Resolution
As people reconciled to God by the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, we believe that we are called to respond to conflict in a way that is remarkably different from the way the world deals with conflict.1 We also believe that conflict provides opportunities to glorify God, serve other people, and grow to be like Christ.2 Therefore, in response to God's love and in reliance on his grace, we commit ourselves to respond to conflict according to the following principles:
Glorify God — Instead of focusing on our own desires or dwelling on what others may do, we will rejoice in the Lord and bring him praise by depending on his forgiveness, wisdom, power, and love, as we seek to faithfully obey his commands and maintain a loving, merciful, and forgiving attitude.3
Get the Log out of Your Eye — Instead of blaming others for a conflict or resisting correction, we will trust in God's mercy and take responsibility for our own contribution to conflicts—confessing our sins to those we have wronged, asking God to help us change any attitudes and habits that lead to conflict, and seeking to repair any harm we have caused.4
Gently Restore — Instead of pretending that conflict doesn't exist or talking about others behind their backs, we will overlook minor offenses or we will talk personally and graciously with those whose offenses seem too serious to overlook, seeking to restore them rather than condemn them. When a conflict with a Christian brother or sister cannot be resolved in private, we will ask others in the body of Christ to help us settle the matter in a biblical manner.5
Go and be reconciled — Instead of accepting premature compromise or allowing relationships to wither, we will actively pursue genuine peace and reconciliation—forgiving others as God, for Christ's sake, has forgiven us, and seeking just and mutually beneficial solutions to our differences.6
By God's grace, we will apply these principles as a matter of stewardship, realizing that conflict is an assignment, not an accident. We will remember that success in God's eyes is not a matter of specific results, but of faithful, dependent obedience. And we will pray that our service as peacemakers will bring praise to our Lord and lead others to know His infinite love.7
1 Matt. 5:9; Luke 6:27-36; Gal. 5:19-26.
2 Rom. 8:28-29; 1 Cor. 10:31-11:1; James 1:2-4.
3 Ps. 37:1-6; Mark 11:25; John 14:15; Rom. 12:17-21; 1 Cor. 10:31; Phil. 4:2-9; Col. 3:1-4; James 3:17-18; 4:1-3; 1 Peter 2:12.
4 Prov. 28:13; Matt. 7:3-5; Luke 19:8; Col. 3:5-14; 1 John 1:8-9.
5 Prov. 19:11; Matt. 18:15-20; 1 Cor. 6:1-8; Gal. 6:1-2; Eph. 4:29; 2 Tim. 2:24-26; James 5:9.
6 Matt. 5:23-24; 6:12; 7:12; Eph. 4:1-3, 32; Phil. 2:3-4.
7 Matt. 25:14-21; John 13:34-35; Rom. 12:18; 1 Peter 2:19; 4:19.
Adapted from The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict. © 1997, 2003 by Ken Sande. All Rights Reserved.
There is conflict at our workplace right now.... ahh, stressful! Lord, please help me to take part in the resolution of this conflict....
Peacemaker's Pledge
http://www.peacemaker.net
A Commitment to Biblical Conflict Resolution
As people reconciled to God by the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, we believe that we are called to respond to conflict in a way that is remarkably different from the way the world deals with conflict.1 We also believe that conflict provides opportunities to glorify God, serve other people, and grow to be like Christ.2 Therefore, in response to God's love and in reliance on his grace, we commit ourselves to respond to conflict according to the following principles:
Glorify God — Instead of focusing on our own desires or dwelling on what others may do, we will rejoice in the Lord and bring him praise by depending on his forgiveness, wisdom, power, and love, as we seek to faithfully obey his commands and maintain a loving, merciful, and forgiving attitude.3
Get the Log out of Your Eye — Instead of blaming others for a conflict or resisting correction, we will trust in God's mercy and take responsibility for our own contribution to conflicts—confessing our sins to those we have wronged, asking God to help us change any attitudes and habits that lead to conflict, and seeking to repair any harm we have caused.4
Gently Restore — Instead of pretending that conflict doesn't exist or talking about others behind their backs, we will overlook minor offenses or we will talk personally and graciously with those whose offenses seem too serious to overlook, seeking to restore them rather than condemn them. When a conflict with a Christian brother or sister cannot be resolved in private, we will ask others in the body of Christ to help us settle the matter in a biblical manner.5
Go and be reconciled — Instead of accepting premature compromise or allowing relationships to wither, we will actively pursue genuine peace and reconciliation—forgiving others as God, for Christ's sake, has forgiven us, and seeking just and mutually beneficial solutions to our differences.6
By God's grace, we will apply these principles as a matter of stewardship, realizing that conflict is an assignment, not an accident. We will remember that success in God's eyes is not a matter of specific results, but of faithful, dependent obedience. And we will pray that our service as peacemakers will bring praise to our Lord and lead others to know His infinite love.7
1 Matt. 5:9; Luke 6:27-36; Gal. 5:19-26.
2 Rom. 8:28-29; 1 Cor. 10:31-11:1; James 1:2-4.
3 Ps. 37:1-6; Mark 11:25; John 14:15; Rom. 12:17-21; 1 Cor. 10:31; Phil. 4:2-9; Col. 3:1-4; James 3:17-18; 4:1-3; 1 Peter 2:12.
4 Prov. 28:13; Matt. 7:3-5; Luke 19:8; Col. 3:5-14; 1 John 1:8-9.
5 Prov. 19:11; Matt. 18:15-20; 1 Cor. 6:1-8; Gal. 6:1-2; Eph. 4:29; 2 Tim. 2:24-26; James 5:9.
6 Matt. 5:23-24; 6:12; 7:12; Eph. 4:1-3, 32; Phil. 2:3-4.
7 Matt. 25:14-21; John 13:34-35; Rom. 12:18; 1 Peter 2:19; 4:19.
Adapted from The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict. © 1997, 2003 by Ken Sande. All Rights Reserved.
Saturday, September 25, 2010
When I look at my self in the light of *this* project, i feel so useless. What can I write about this? What am I going to reflect in my poster? I wish I can be like my colleagues...No, I wish I am not a part of this endeavor.
Lord, please help me with this thing. I really don't know what to do. I don't know what to do. Please help me. I'd like to surrender now... But I choose to surrender to You rather than on my problem. I know you can bring me out of this tunnel. I need You. Thank You for seeing me through all these. I commit my strength and mind to You. I trust in you. Amen.
Lord, please help me with this thing. I really don't know what to do. I don't know what to do. Please help me. I'd like to surrender now... But I choose to surrender to You rather than on my problem. I know you can bring me out of this tunnel. I need You. Thank You for seeing me through all these. I commit my strength and mind to You. I trust in you. Amen.
Saturday, September 18, 2010
One mountain was flattened and I got a long, real sleep last night. I still have to topple two mountains though. Three, actually.
Quote: 'There are things that you can't see in clean papers or documents. I challenge you to conduct a surprise visit...'
I admire her somehow. What a strong will she has. But then, she should have said it in the right environment, the right people. I wonder what the administration's reaction will be...
My eyes still sore because of those many sleepless nights.
Quote: 'There are things that you can't see in clean papers or documents. I challenge you to conduct a surprise visit...'
I admire her somehow. What a strong will she has. But then, she should have said it in the right environment, the right people. I wonder what the administration's reaction will be...
My eyes still sore because of those many sleepless nights.
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Saturday, September 4, 2010
On Flirting
The other day, I cut my male friend's advances when i detected a shade of flirting in him towards me. I was cruel, I guess. I always warn men not to flirt with me.
But then this Yahoo! article on flirting amused me. So for my own personal reminder (since I guess nobody is really reading this blog aside from me) I am posting the first and the last items from that article:
1. Flirting is good for you. Studies show that people who flirt have higher white blood-cell counts, which boost both immunity and health.
.
.
.
10. Flirting is universal. A woman living in New York City and one in rural Cambodia may not have much in common, but when it comes to attracting a little attention, they both employ the very same move: smiling, arching their eyebrows, then averting their gaze and giggling. Animals flirt, too: birds, reptiles, and even fish have their own way of making romantic advances. The moral of the story: If the simple sea bass can act cute in order to further a romantic agenda, you can, too — so give it a go! (emphasis mine)
Source: 10 fascinating flirting facts by Laura Schaefer
Well, yes, I think I need to give it a go! LOL
But then this Yahoo! article on flirting amused me. So for my own personal reminder (since I guess nobody is really reading this blog aside from me) I am posting the first and the last items from that article:
1. Flirting is good for you. Studies show that people who flirt have higher white blood-cell counts, which boost both immunity and health.
.
.
.
10. Flirting is universal. A woman living in New York City and one in rural Cambodia may not have much in common, but when it comes to attracting a little attention, they both employ the very same move: smiling, arching their eyebrows, then averting their gaze and giggling. Animals flirt, too: birds, reptiles, and even fish have their own way of making romantic advances. The moral of the story: If the simple sea bass can act cute in order to further a romantic agenda, you can, too — so give it a go! (emphasis mine)
Source: 10 fascinating flirting facts by Laura Schaefer
Well, yes, I think I need to give it a go! LOL
Friday, September 3, 2010
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Monday, August 30, 2010
c-h-a-t-r-o-o-m
I hate being there but why do i come there
as if it is my home?
Duh!
I am hating myself for this.
Wasting so many precious-limited-time-that-i-have.
Ughhh! I have to stop doing this.
I have to stop doing this.
I want to live a normal life.
as if it is my home?
Duh!
I am hating myself for this.
Wasting so many precious-limited-time-that-i-have.
Ughhh! I have to stop doing this.
I have to stop doing this.
I want to live a normal life.
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Missing Home
It's 4am now. I basically used up an hour or more into something I should not be doing, at least not for now. I'll be conducting an 8-hour marathon talk today. I am tired of this. I am tired of doing all these.... Hope I can find a time to rest.
Been dreaming often about my family. Of mother walking well again. Of us being together. Every time I have this dream, waking up becomes so frustrating. I wish I can sleep forever and dream of them. I really want to go home.
Today is father's 70th (?) birthday. Oops, why that question mark? Honestly I don't really know his real age, nor that of mother, or my sisters and brothers. I know the month and the day, but why can't I remember the years? I know no one's exact birth date but mine.
Recently I've been expressing heightened disappointment over out college system. The university system, actually. [Lord, help me to change my perception, values, and reactions - everything. Help me to stand tall in the midst of this repressing situation. Help me to accomplish more from this life that you have blessed me with.]
Oh going back, I still miss my family. So much.
Been dreaming often about my family. Of mother walking well again. Of us being together. Every time I have this dream, waking up becomes so frustrating. I wish I can sleep forever and dream of them. I really want to go home.
Today is father's 70th (?) birthday. Oops, why that question mark? Honestly I don't really know his real age, nor that of mother, or my sisters and brothers. I know the month and the day, but why can't I remember the years? I know no one's exact birth date but mine.
Recently I've been expressing heightened disappointment over out college system. The university system, actually. [Lord, help me to change my perception, values, and reactions - everything. Help me to stand tall in the midst of this repressing situation. Help me to accomplish more from this life that you have blessed me with.]
Oh going back, I still miss my family. So much.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Silent murmurs of a non-existent heart….
There are times when death seems more desirable than life, and today is just one of them.
Why this deep sadness? This discontentment? What is life for? What is my life for? Why am I struggling with so many mundane things? Will my fear, regret, and aspirations matter tomorrow? Or the days to come? Throughout eternity? Tell me. Tell me if you can. Now.
What am I doing here? I am not happy with how my life unfolds. I want a better environment. A better life. A better me.
But then, maybe, I just need to change my perspective.
Sorry Lord, for being so faithless. Sorry for trying to solve my problems on my own. I have been so bad before you. Please forgive me and restore the right spirit within me. Restore unto me the joy of your salvation. I put my hope in You.
Note: was penned at 10am today...
Why this deep sadness? This discontentment? What is life for? What is my life for? Why am I struggling with so many mundane things? Will my fear, regret, and aspirations matter tomorrow? Or the days to come? Throughout eternity? Tell me. Tell me if you can. Now.
What am I doing here? I am not happy with how my life unfolds. I want a better environment. A better life. A better me.
But then, maybe, I just need to change my perspective.
Sorry Lord, for being so faithless. Sorry for trying to solve my problems on my own. I have been so bad before you. Please forgive me and restore the right spirit within me. Restore unto me the joy of your salvation. I put my hope in You.
Note: was penned at 10am today...
Monday, August 9, 2010
perspective
Oh, c'mon.
Can't you write about
happy things?
good things?
funny things?
Why focus on the
dim side of life?
There are so many
good stories to tell
So many good stories to tell.
I love you.
Do better and think better today.
Can't you write about
happy things?
good things?
funny things?
Why focus on the
dim side of life?
There are so many
good stories to tell
So many good stories to tell.
I love you.
Do better and think better today.
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Friday, August 6, 2010
past or present
that anger,
is it of the present
or that of the past?
tell me.
be honest, at least for a while
can't comprehend how such a joke
can bring deep a hurt
to your heart.
yes, i remember you
telling me of someone
who has forgotten
your name.
i know, i know
that hurts
though i can't
fully understand how such can be.
you said that he loves you
but after a year of being
separated by distance
he can no longer utter your name
because he has it totally(?) forgotten.
are you sure he loves you?
or maybe, that's only what
you want to believe-
a total illusion.
you told also of a friend
a best friend, you said
who promised to email you
once he gets access to the e-world again
but how long has it been?
six years, or maybe seven?
now, where's the email?
maybe he's too busy
maybe his email id was deactivated
and he can no longer contact you.
or maybe he lives in Saturn.
you said that you don't care anymore
and that you don't mind them at all.
but why that flare of emotion?
Forget him. Forget them.
They are not worth a grain of your brain.
is it of the present
or that of the past?
tell me.
be honest, at least for a while
can't comprehend how such a joke
can bring deep a hurt
to your heart.
yes, i remember you
telling me of someone
who has forgotten
your name.
i know, i know
that hurts
though i can't
fully understand how such can be.
you said that he loves you
but after a year of being
separated by distance
he can no longer utter your name
because he has it totally(?) forgotten.
are you sure he loves you?
or maybe, that's only what
you want to believe-
a total illusion.
you told also of a friend
a best friend, you said
who promised to email you
once he gets access to the e-world again
but how long has it been?
six years, or maybe seven?
now, where's the email?
maybe he's too busy
maybe his email id was deactivated
and he can no longer contact you.
or maybe he lives in Saturn.
you said that you don't care anymore
and that you don't mind them at all.
but why that flare of emotion?
Forget him. Forget them.
They are not worth a grain of your brain.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Gut feeling
I don't believe you
The age you declare
Your nationality
Your past/current job.
I am well-versed of your culture
I know your people
Your capability, your manner
'Coz your place have been mine
For more than two years.
But then you are nice
A clean talker
So we can be friends
We can talk for another while
Even if i don't know who you really are.
The age you declare
Your nationality
Your past/current job.
I am well-versed of your culture
I know your people
Your capability, your manner
'Coz your place have been mine
For more than two years.
But then you are nice
A clean talker
So we can be friends
We can talk for another while
Even if i don't know who you really are.
Psalm 63
A Psalm of David when he was in the wilderness of Judah.
1 O God, You are my God;
Early will I seek You;
My soul thirsts for You;
My flesh longs for You
In a dry and thirsty land
Where there is no water.
2 So I have looked for You in the sanctuary,
To see Your power and Your glory.
3 Because Your lovingkindness is better than life,
My lips shall praise You.
4 Thus I will bless You while I live;
I will lift up my hands in Your name.
5 My soul shall be satisfied as with marrow and fatness,
And my mouth shall praise You with joyful lips.
6 When I remember You on my bed,
I meditate on You in the night watches.
7 Because You have been my help,
Therefore in the shadow of Your wings I will rejoice.
8 My soul follows close behind You;
Your right hand upholds me.
9 But those who seek my life, to destroy it,
Shall go into the lower parts of the earth.
10 They shall fall by the sword;
They shall be a portion for jackals.
11 But the king shall rejoice in God;
Everyone who swears by Him shall glory;
But the mouth of those who speak lies shall be stopped.
-----
Devotional link:
Out Of Orbit
1 O God, You are my God;
Early will I seek You;
My soul thirsts for You;
My flesh longs for You
In a dry and thirsty land
Where there is no water.
2 So I have looked for You in the sanctuary,
To see Your power and Your glory.
3 Because Your lovingkindness is better than life,
My lips shall praise You.
4 Thus I will bless You while I live;
I will lift up my hands in Your name.
5 My soul shall be satisfied as with marrow and fatness,
And my mouth shall praise You with joyful lips.
6 When I remember You on my bed,
I meditate on You in the night watches.
7 Because You have been my help,
Therefore in the shadow of Your wings I will rejoice.
8 My soul follows close behind You;
Your right hand upholds me.
9 But those who seek my life, to destroy it,
Shall go into the lower parts of the earth.
10 They shall fall by the sword;
They shall be a portion for jackals.
11 But the king shall rejoice in God;
Everyone who swears by Him shall glory;
But the mouth of those who speak lies shall be stopped.
-----
Devotional link:
Out Of Orbit
Early Morning
2:47 am here.
The neighbor's dog is growling
to the reason I don't know why.
Ah, distraction.
I meant to post a different topic here.
The neighbor's dog is growling
to the reason I don't know why.
Ah, distraction.
I meant to post a different topic here.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Don't call me 'chagi'...
I will never allow you.
'Coz my heart, my mind, my soul
Is not ready to admit you or anyone
Into my neatly woven cocoon of solitude.
'Coz my heart, my mind, my soul
Is not ready to admit you or anyone
Into my neatly woven cocoon of solitude.
random randoms 2
Been keeping a lot of things in my mind lately
But felt incapable of translating them into words
Why can a feeling of emptiness be so heavy at times?
Normally, empty things are light
But my heart, so heavy despite being empty.
Weird.
I'd like to declare to the whole world
that I've now forgotten him -
Everything about him.
But my heart will surely slap me
Before I can even begin to utter the words.
Ah...
But felt incapable of translating them into words
Why can a feeling of emptiness be so heavy at times?
Normally, empty things are light
But my heart, so heavy despite being empty.
Weird.
I'd like to declare to the whole world
that I've now forgotten him -
Everything about him.
But my heart will surely slap me
Before I can even begin to utter the words.
Ah...
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
The Search
Void.
My life is.
I’ve tried to brush the thought
By filling my life with any other things I could
But like a child on tantrums
My heart refuses to let go of you.
Of my desire for you.
Who are you?
What are you made of?
Are you also from this world?
Are you the man from the past?
Or someone I still have to behold.
I wish the future will have you soon unfold.
I love you even before I know you.
Please show yourself to me soon.
Otherwise, don't ever make me feel
Like I can't live my life without you.
Never ever. Never ever.
My life is.
I’ve tried to brush the thought
By filling my life with any other things I could
But like a child on tantrums
My heart refuses to let go of you.
Of my desire for you.
Who are you?
What are you made of?
Are you also from this world?
Are you the man from the past?
Or someone I still have to behold.
I wish the future will have you soon unfold.
I love you even before I know you.
Please show yourself to me soon.
Otherwise, don't ever make me feel
Like I can't live my life without you.
Never ever. Never ever.
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Random Randoms
Haha. That was a general message.
No reason for you to take it personally!
Go and do your chores for today.
Don't end the day regretting
over what you haven't done.
Make today different from the rest of the days.
Boyfriend? Do you desire
of having a boyfriend at times?
'No, I am just wondering what life
Could have been if I had one.'
No reason for you to take it personally!
Go and do your chores for today.
Don't end the day regretting
over what you haven't done.
Make today different from the rest of the days.
Boyfriend? Do you desire
of having a boyfriend at times?
'No, I am just wondering what life
Could have been if I had one.'
Saturday, July 24, 2010
time and internet P2
Open the internet and... BooM!
All time scatters to nothingness
Like it had never existed before.
Internet is good but it robs so much of my time.
Then, why am I still here?
All time scatters to nothingness
Like it had never existed before.
Internet is good but it robs so much of my time.
Then, why am I still here?
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
movie
This virtual world is a movie
People can make up stories
Chose their casts
Direct the plot.
Nothing to believe
No one to trust
With just a click of that button
Everything can get awash.
I prefer to live in the real world.
People can make up stories
Chose their casts
Direct the plot.
Nothing to believe
No one to trust
With just a click of that button
Everything can get awash.
I prefer to live in the real world.
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Sweet Mercy
No. Again? For the nth time?
You gotta change girl...
Yes, I was talking about her.
Let your yes be yes and your no be no, says the Bible.
This word is so familiar to her even from her childhood
She often says yes to people and no to herself
And often,sadly, she fails to realize both.
What has been happening to her?
She burned her time
And tomorrow she's gonna run again
What, really, is she doing?
Emptiness abounds from within
Her mind tries to dig much
Down to the bottom of her soul's heart
To see the reason for this unexplainable loneliness.
Lost time.
Lost season.
Lost opportunity.
Lost. Everything!
Everything's lost.
She needs to run.
To make up for the lost time
To fill the void
To feel her life once more.
But is she capable of running her life?
Does she have enough strength
To finish the race?
Oh, she needs grace. So much grace.
God of all grace, please allow her
To find that sweet mercy that she so needed
She deserve no gift or favor
An so she ask for your sweet, sweet mercy.
Please heal her shattered soul
And lead her home.
You gotta change girl...
Yes, I was talking about her.
Let your yes be yes and your no be no, says the Bible.
This word is so familiar to her even from her childhood
She often says yes to people and no to herself
And often,sadly, she fails to realize both.
What has been happening to her?
She burned her time
And tomorrow she's gonna run again
What, really, is she doing?
Emptiness abounds from within
Her mind tries to dig much
Down to the bottom of her soul's heart
To see the reason for this unexplainable loneliness.
Lost time.
Lost season.
Lost opportunity.
Lost. Everything!
Everything's lost.
She needs to run.
To make up for the lost time
To fill the void
To feel her life once more.
But is she capable of running her life?
Does she have enough strength
To finish the race?
Oh, she needs grace. So much grace.
God of all grace, please allow her
To find that sweet mercy that she so needed
She deserve no gift or favor
An so she ask for your sweet, sweet mercy.
Please heal her shattered soul
And lead her home.
Monday, July 12, 2010
temporary goodbye
Goodbye blog. I shall not see you until I finish these two things that I need to deal with. I had been evading these for the longest time but I can't run no more. I have to face this bravely. Squarely. I will triumph in the end. I'll return to you victorious. That I promise.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
eaten
I was supposed to post something here. My spirit was a bit emotional but when i clicked on the newly-posted blog on the other 'side' all my ideas were swallowed by her post. How could two different people in a different place and culture share the same sentiment? I thought I was unique from among all creations and my thoughts are mine alone... Ah, I am not alone after all.
I'll write my story some other time.
As always, this is me. The great procrastinator. Hope I can work on something today before the depths of the night take all the energy from me. I don't want to experience rushing again during early Monday mornings.
I need to change. I really need to.
* missing Sunday worship service, I feel like I've wasted the whole day. Lord, please help me redeem the time. Help me use to the fullest whatever is left for me today. Amen.
I'll write my story some other time.
As always, this is me. The great procrastinator. Hope I can work on something today before the depths of the night take all the energy from me. I don't want to experience rushing again during early Monday mornings.
I need to change. I really need to.
* missing Sunday worship service, I feel like I've wasted the whole day. Lord, please help me redeem the time. Help me use to the fullest whatever is left for me today. Amen.
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Wildflower
(Skylark)
She's faced the hardest times you could imagine,
And many times her eyes fought back the tears.
And when her youthful world was about to fall in
Each time her slender shoulders bore the weight of all her fears,
and her sorrow no one hears, still rings in midnight silence,
in her ears...
Let her cry, for she's a Lady
Let her dream, for she's a Child
Let the rain fall down upon her
She's a free and gentle flower, growing wild.
And if by chance, I should hold her,
Let me hold her for a time;
But if allowed just one possession,
I would pick her from the garden, to be mine.
Be careful how you touch her, for she will waken;
and sleep's the only freedom that she knows.
And when you walk into her eyes, you won't believe;
The way she's always payin' for a debt she never owed,
and the silent wind still blows, that only she can hear,
And so, she goes.
Let her cry, for she's a Lady
Let her dream, for she's a Child
Let the rain fall down upon her
She's a free and gentle flower, growing wild.
She's faced the hardest times you could imagine,
And many times her eyes fought back the tears.
And when her youthful world was about to fall in
Each time her slender shoulders bore the weight of all her fears,
and her sorrow no one hears, still rings in midnight silence,
in her ears...
Let her cry, for she's a Lady
Let her dream, for she's a Child
Let the rain fall down upon her
She's a free and gentle flower, growing wild.
And if by chance, I should hold her,
Let me hold her for a time;
But if allowed just one possession,
I would pick her from the garden, to be mine.
Be careful how you touch her, for she will waken;
and sleep's the only freedom that she knows.
And when you walk into her eyes, you won't believe;
The way she's always payin' for a debt she never owed,
and the silent wind still blows, that only she can hear,
And so, she goes.
Let her cry, for she's a Lady
Let her dream, for she's a Child
Let the rain fall down upon her
She's a free and gentle flower, growing wild.
Monday, June 28, 2010
Prayer works! Really.
I feel good today. Liked the way I handled the class.I was able to do some of my admin tasks too... Ah feels so good....
----
But, what happened to that microscope?
----
But, what happened to that microscope?
Simply Failed
*Need I explain it here?
For the record, it's 1:17am now and I am still stuck somewhere...
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!
-------
Loved the coolness that the rain has brought though.
But tomorrow, tomorrow (more of later, actually), I still have to prepare for it. What am I doing now? I wish to write about triumph next time.
For the record, it's 1:17am now and I am still stuck somewhere...
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!
-------
Loved the coolness that the rain has brought though.
But tomorrow, tomorrow (more of later, actually), I still have to prepare for it. What am I doing now? I wish to write about triumph next time.
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Endings
I've watched hundreds and hundreds of dramas and movies but there's none which I can consider spectacular. I always hated the endings. I wish producers can create a movie without any ending (is this possible??) or maybe I'll just stop watching at the middle of the story. Or better yet, I'll just stop watching movies. Period.
Why waste my time watching when I can't even find enough time to sort the things that I needed to do? Ah, I am foolish. I am foolish. I hope I'll grow up soon.
----
Last night, I dreamed that I was bitten by a dog. What's the meaning of it this time?
*thinking*
----
I will stop scouring blogs for now. I need to focus more on my job. I need to learn a lot in this life. I am tasked to build up people but how can I do that if I can't even teach my own self? I need to really grow up. Become more responsible. To learn to love the value of my profession. To become more cordial. To learn to laugh often. To dream happy dreams. To cherish every moment. To love (to love??? ah...I wish I can learn how to love). To become more organized. To learn to do what I have planned. To stop watching online dramas and movies. To use the internet to learn what is good and useful. To become more thorough in my work. To connect with old friends. To become aware of the concept of time - to value it. To become easy with life. To become friend with myself. To joke. To laugh with my colleagues. To contact old classmates. To learn how to dance. And sing in public. To have more self-confidence. To be happy. To value every moment. To become more close with my Savior. To tidy up things (though my friends consider me to be a neat freak already). To forget him. And another him. To open my life to other people. To save electricity. To have a stronger self-will. To start loving and trusting my self. To start working now...
Yaaaaaaaa! Enough! Stop dreaming and wishing! You need to sign out and start doing the things you have in your To-Do list!
Why waste my time watching when I can't even find enough time to sort the things that I needed to do? Ah, I am foolish. I am foolish. I hope I'll grow up soon.
----
Last night, I dreamed that I was bitten by a dog. What's the meaning of it this time?
*thinking*
----
I will stop scouring blogs for now. I need to focus more on my job. I need to learn a lot in this life. I am tasked to build up people but how can I do that if I can't even teach my own self? I need to really grow up. Become more responsible. To learn to love the value of my profession. To become more cordial. To learn to laugh often. To dream happy dreams. To cherish every moment. To love (to love??? ah...I wish I can learn how to love). To become more organized. To learn to do what I have planned. To stop watching online dramas and movies. To use the internet to learn what is good and useful. To become more thorough in my work. To connect with old friends. To become aware of the concept of time - to value it. To become easy with life. To become friend with myself. To joke. To laugh with my colleagues. To contact old classmates. To learn how to dance. And sing in public. To have more self-confidence. To be happy. To value every moment. To become more close with my Savior. To tidy up things (though my friends consider me to be a neat freak already). To forget him. And another him. To open my life to other people. To save electricity. To have a stronger self-will. To start loving and trusting my self. To start working now...
Yaaaaaaaa! Enough! Stop dreaming and wishing! You need to sign out and start doing the things you have in your To-Do list!
Friday, June 25, 2010
Too sensitive?
I don't know. I don't want to waste my time here blogging about it when literally I need to run for work. Maybe some other day, I can find the a time to write it. Or maybe also, when that .... Ah, I have no time to spare. See you when I see you.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Impression
This is supposed to be my reply to someone's blog post but I chose to place it in my page instead.
You have such a fine son. I think he will become both a great husband and a father someday. Will I be able to find a man like him? If only the man I keep yearning for these past 4 years (already?!) have his qualities...
[But why do I yearn for that someone who, in my standard, is not a good husband material anyway? Ah...foolish me. I really wish to forget that man from yesterday.]
You have such a fine son. I think he will become both a great husband and a father someday. Will I be able to find a man like him? If only the man I keep yearning for these past 4 years (already?!) have his qualities...
[But why do I yearn for that someone who, in my standard, is not a good husband material anyway? Ah...foolish me. I really wish to forget that man from yesterday.]
Sunday, June 20, 2010
The War Within
Struggling against myself
Trying to topple my personal desires
To live to the fullest as I ought to be
But failing myself every time.
I need an external force
I cannot do it just from within
My self will is so weak
I need someone to give me strength.
I need God.
Trying to topple my personal desires
To live to the fullest as I ought to be
But failing myself every time.
I need an external force
I cannot do it just from within
My self will is so weak
I need someone to give me strength.
I need God.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Questions....
Sometimes I feel that something is really lacking...
Had I been married, would life be more beautiful?
Would life be more meaningful?
Am I even willing to give up the freedom I now have
to know the answer?
I don't even know the answer to this last question.
I refuse to...
-------
[*currently singing with the Avalon - for as long as I shall live I will testify to love...]
I wish I can really live the lyrics of this song. But sometimes, many times actually, I just fail to live the life I ought to be.
Had I been married, would life be more beautiful?
Would life be more meaningful?
Am I even willing to give up the freedom I now have
to know the answer?
I don't even know the answer to this last question.
I refuse to...
-------
[*currently singing with the Avalon - for as long as I shall live I will testify to love...]
I wish I can really live the lyrics of this song. But sometimes, many times actually, I just fail to live the life I ought to be.
Monday, June 14, 2010
More to Life
Something's missing. I don't know exactly what it is but I feel this great void in my heart. I know I need to finish a lot of things before tomorrow but I just can't get enough drive to do all these. Not even start.
I feel like crying but seems like even my tears would not cooperate with me. I can't seem to find a tear to cry.
What's this hollow that I feel deep inside. My mind still thinks of him. And the other 'him'. What for? There's no way to redeem the past and even if I can I won't return to it.
Missed church yesterday. I wasted, literally wasted my whole day.
Never had a communication with my family too. I want to talk with them but I was so lazy to dial my phone. They wouldn't call me too because what we have is a one-way street. The only exception would be is that if something bad happens back home. Or if they need my financial assistance. That would be the only time they'd call or text me. That is why, I dread receiving their message too.
My cousin called me up yesterday but I was soundly asleep and missed her call. Later she YMed that with so many people she contacted, nobody has answered her call. I can totally relate and I feel sorry for her.
My job. My job is disturbing me even in my slumber. What will I do with my life? Is this the right place for me? I wanted to be happy too, even just for just a short while.
I planned to continue with my schooling but I was so.... I don't know. I don't know exactly how to describe myself with regards to this.
Been roaming the chatroom for someone to talk to but nobody seems worth spending my time with. There are so many perverts roaming the net. This world is losing its color.
It's 2pm now and I need to go back to our office for some overtime work but I am tpo lazy to move. I feel so lacking. Lacking of so many things.
I had a very disturbing dream last night. Something about the coming of a very strong storm. The environment was so weird and murky.
I don't want to continue in this condition. I want to live. I want to enjoy life.
There is more to life, I believe. But what it is, I am not sure of. I want to know. Soon.
I feel like crying but seems like even my tears would not cooperate with me. I can't seem to find a tear to cry.
What's this hollow that I feel deep inside. My mind still thinks of him. And the other 'him'. What for? There's no way to redeem the past and even if I can I won't return to it.
Missed church yesterday. I wasted, literally wasted my whole day.
Never had a communication with my family too. I want to talk with them but I was so lazy to dial my phone. They wouldn't call me too because what we have is a one-way street. The only exception would be is that if something bad happens back home. Or if they need my financial assistance. That would be the only time they'd call or text me. That is why, I dread receiving their message too.
My cousin called me up yesterday but I was soundly asleep and missed her call. Later she YMed that with so many people she contacted, nobody has answered her call. I can totally relate and I feel sorry for her.
My job. My job is disturbing me even in my slumber. What will I do with my life? Is this the right place for me? I wanted to be happy too, even just for just a short while.
I planned to continue with my schooling but I was so.... I don't know. I don't know exactly how to describe myself with regards to this.
Been roaming the chatroom for someone to talk to but nobody seems worth spending my time with. There are so many perverts roaming the net. This world is losing its color.
It's 2pm now and I need to go back to our office for some overtime work but I am tpo lazy to move. I feel so lacking. Lacking of so many things.
I had a very disturbing dream last night. Something about the coming of a very strong storm. The environment was so weird and murky.
I don't want to continue in this condition. I want to live. I want to enjoy life.
There is more to life, I believe. But what it is, I am not sure of. I want to know. Soon.
Saturday, June 12, 2010
sweepstakes
If I would win a sweepstakes I will resign in my current job. Buy a wide, wide area of land somewhere up in the mountain. Plant it with many different kinds of forest trees. Build a small hut. Plant some vegetables, corns, sweet potato, sweetsop, guayabano, mango, guava, and many other fruit trees.
I'll sit under the shade of wildberries and listen to the songs of the wind. I'll play with the clouds and stare at the blue ocean far, far down below. I'll fly with birds. I'll ride a carabao and cow. Play with baby goats. Chase the chickens. Collect spiders. I'll search the clear water of the creek at night for some crabs and freshwater shrimps.
I'll soak my face to the caressing touch of fresh mountain wind.
I'll run. And smile. And laugh. And laugh a little more.
I will enjoy life.
But then looking back, my life was basically just like that. My family did not win a lottery. We never had a land of our own. But life was so happy and carefree at that time. We never had to worry ourselves about pollution. We never had to worry about deadlines. About so many obligations. And stress. And pain. And all sorts of useless needs that human beings crave so much about at present.
I want to go back to that old time. I want to breathe again.
I'll sit under the shade of wildberries and listen to the songs of the wind. I'll play with the clouds and stare at the blue ocean far, far down below. I'll fly with birds. I'll ride a carabao and cow. Play with baby goats. Chase the chickens. Collect spiders. I'll search the clear water of the creek at night for some crabs and freshwater shrimps.
I'll soak my face to the caressing touch of fresh mountain wind.
I'll run. And smile. And laugh. And laugh a little more.
I will enjoy life.
But then looking back, my life was basically just like that. My family did not win a lottery. We never had a land of our own. But life was so happy and carefree at that time. We never had to worry ourselves about pollution. We never had to worry about deadlines. About so many obligations. And stress. And pain. And all sorts of useless needs that human beings crave so much about at present.
I want to go back to that old time. I want to breathe again.
home again
second home, that is.
Just arrived from travel.
Looking at my previous post, I notice that it's been harder to control my anger and irritability these past days. Life has been harder, tasks are piling up, been appealing to remove that one designation from me but I was talking to deaf ears.
I cried myself to sleep last night.
I am still requested (more of required, actually) to attend that program tomorrow. Hey, it's Saturday! Give me the rest I so needed. Give me time to at least launder my clothes! Besides, I just arrived from this two-day official travel! I can't tell enough how tired I am.
No email from my past prof. So what? I don't want to care at all. Will finish the paper by weekend and submit it to him before classes starts next week.
Did I mention already that I am so tired?
I am signing off. Needs to get some sleep. I'll have a long long day tomorrow. Hope this weekend is gonna be productive.
I am wishing myself well.
PS. No text message from my family....Will probably write on this in one of my future posts.
I am very, very, very, very, very sleeeeeeepy now.
Just arrived from travel.
Looking at my previous post, I notice that it's been harder to control my anger and irritability these past days. Life has been harder, tasks are piling up, been appealing to remove that one designation from me but I was talking to deaf ears.
I cried myself to sleep last night.
I am still requested (more of required, actually) to attend that program tomorrow. Hey, it's Saturday! Give me the rest I so needed. Give me time to at least launder my clothes! Besides, I just arrived from this two-day official travel! I can't tell enough how tired I am.
No email from my past prof. So what? I don't want to care at all. Will finish the paper by weekend and submit it to him before classes starts next week.
Did I mention already that I am so tired?
I am signing off. Needs to get some sleep. I'll have a long long day tomorrow. Hope this weekend is gonna be productive.
I am wishing myself well.
PS. No text message from my family....Will probably write on this in one of my future posts.
I am very, very, very, very, very sleeeeeeepy now.
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
what is being re-signed in the word 'resign'?
I wanted to write a long blog entry but I am afraid the words might become too baring that I won't be able to post it for public viewing. I don't usually show my inner self to public. But to give you a glimpse of it let me summarize it in a sentence: I hate my current job and I am contemplating on resigning....
I wanted to write a long blog entry but I am afraid the words might become too baring that I won't be able to post it for public viewing. I don't usually show my inner self to public. But to give you a glimpse of it let me summarize it in a sentence: I hate my current job and I am contemplating on resigning....
Sunday, June 6, 2010
MTL
There is more to life than this....
This, I am so sure of.
Depression is temporary.
Stress is not eternal.
Life must go on!
This, I am so sure of.
Depression is temporary.
Stress is not eternal.
Life must go on!
Friday, June 4, 2010
My Response
I've borrowed this from one of the blogs I'm following. I can't help but evaluate my life based on this.
Things To Remember
(by Regina Brett)
1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good...
>> yeah, you're sure right about this!
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
>> sometimes I fail to do this. many times, actually.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
>> there is no way I can disagree with this.
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
>> Well, i keep in touch with my parents and family. Friends? I can count the number of times in my fingers. Been so busy with my job for them.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
>> usually I pay my credit card a day after my actual buying
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
>> I seldom argue. Silence is my best defense.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
>> I prefer to cry alone. Crying in front of someone is like baring yourself too much to that person. I still can't do that. Been protecting my personal bubble too much.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
>> You think so? Can there be a reason for me to hate Him. He is the giver of my life and I can only stand in awe of Him.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
>> Ehhhh....guilty! I save but whenever my family needs financial assistance, i tend to give everything. I just realized that I need to save for my self too!
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
>> Not so with me. Chocolate equals migraine and migraine is not so great at all. I say no to chocolate!
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
>> I need to work on this. I need some closure.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
>> I don't have a child. Still single and I may remain so for the rest of my life unless someone spectacular comes into my life.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
>> This advise is simply not realistic.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
>> *Chuckles* Great advise!
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
>> So agree with this!
16. Take a deep breath... It calms the mind.
>> I've just done so. Sure calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
>> Like what?
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
>> Hmmmnn... makes me ponder on this.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
>> I had a happy childhood. Happier and simpler than the present. I wish I can be a child again. Yet, I can only dream!
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
>> I loved him but I said no nonetheless. Love ain't enough! There should be commonalities.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
>> I wonder why people want to use candles when they relax. Candles consume oxygen.
Nice sheets? Ah, I need to buy a new one.
Lingerie? ---
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
>> That would be frustrating.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
>> I'm a 'purple lady'. Eccentric, eh?
24. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
>> Agree somehow.
25. Frame every so-called disaster with these words ''In five years, will this matter?".
>> Nice advise.
26. Always choose life.
>> Who would want to choose death?
27. Forgive everyone everything.
>> Easier said than done though.
28. What other people think of you is none of your business.
>> As long as they simply keep that thought in their cranium. But I agree somehow.
29. Time heals almost everything. Give time, time.
>> No comment on this. Needs to ponder more whether to agree or disagree.
30. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
>> Change is the only constant thing in life, so they say.
31. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
>> Hehe. I'm a perfectionist though. I'll try to take heed of this advise.
32. Believe in miracles.
>> There can be miracles when you believe...
33. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
>> Not because of who I am but because of who You are...
34. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
>> Sometimes, auditing life can be good too. I mean reflecting about it.
35. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
>> Not so old though. I don't want to stay in this world for 120 years.
36. Your children get only one childhood.
>> My children?
37. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
>> *silent*
38. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
Outside where?
39. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd
grab ours back.
>> What?
40. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
>> I need to grow a more thicker hair!
41. The best is yet to come.
>> Hope so.
42. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
>> This is what I've heard from yesterday's message too. :D
43. Yield.
>> Not all the time. There are times when not yielding is the best thing to do.
44. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.
>> So agree!
Things To Remember
(by Regina Brett)
1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good...
>> yeah, you're sure right about this!
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
>> sometimes I fail to do this. many times, actually.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
>> there is no way I can disagree with this.
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
>> Well, i keep in touch with my parents and family. Friends? I can count the number of times in my fingers. Been so busy with my job for them.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
>> usually I pay my credit card a day after my actual buying
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
>> I seldom argue. Silence is my best defense.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
>> I prefer to cry alone. Crying in front of someone is like baring yourself too much to that person. I still can't do that. Been protecting my personal bubble too much.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
>> You think so? Can there be a reason for me to hate Him. He is the giver of my life and I can only stand in awe of Him.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
>> Ehhhh....guilty! I save but whenever my family needs financial assistance, i tend to give everything. I just realized that I need to save for my self too!
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
>> Not so with me. Chocolate equals migraine and migraine is not so great at all. I say no to chocolate!
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
>> I need to work on this. I need some closure.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
>> I don't have a child. Still single and I may remain so for the rest of my life unless someone spectacular comes into my life.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
>> This advise is simply not realistic.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
>> *Chuckles* Great advise!
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
>> So agree with this!
16. Take a deep breath... It calms the mind.
>> I've just done so. Sure calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
>> Like what?
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
>> Hmmmnn... makes me ponder on this.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
>> I had a happy childhood. Happier and simpler than the present. I wish I can be a child again. Yet, I can only dream!
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
>> I loved him but I said no nonetheless. Love ain't enough! There should be commonalities.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
>> I wonder why people want to use candles when they relax. Candles consume oxygen.
Nice sheets? Ah, I need to buy a new one.
Lingerie? ---
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
>> That would be frustrating.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
>> I'm a 'purple lady'. Eccentric, eh?
24. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
>> Agree somehow.
25. Frame every so-called disaster with these words ''In five years, will this matter?".
>> Nice advise.
26. Always choose life.
>> Who would want to choose death?
27. Forgive everyone everything.
>> Easier said than done though.
28. What other people think of you is none of your business.
>> As long as they simply keep that thought in their cranium. But I agree somehow.
29. Time heals almost everything. Give time, time.
>> No comment on this. Needs to ponder more whether to agree or disagree.
30. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
>> Change is the only constant thing in life, so they say.
31. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
>> Hehe. I'm a perfectionist though. I'll try to take heed of this advise.
32. Believe in miracles.
>> There can be miracles when you believe...
33. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
>> Not because of who I am but because of who You are...
34. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
>> Sometimes, auditing life can be good too. I mean reflecting about it.
35. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
>> Not so old though. I don't want to stay in this world for 120 years.
36. Your children get only one childhood.
>> My children?
37. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
>> *silent*
38. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
Outside where?
39. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd
grab ours back.
>> What?
40. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
>> I need to grow a more thicker hair!
41. The best is yet to come.
>> Hope so.
42. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
>> This is what I've heard from yesterday's message too. :D
43. Yield.
>> Not all the time. There are times when not yielding is the best thing to do.
44. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.
>> So agree!
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Song of Yesteryears
I stumbled on someone's blog and found a line from the song, "That's All I Want From You". Memories came rushing in to my mind. Thank God, I still have them. The memories.
That song was introduced to us by our Grade 5 Class Adviser and I like it simply because I liked that teacher. I think she's the best mentor I've ever had. I wish I had the chance to really say thank you to her before she died....
Here's the lyrics:
A little love that slowly
grows and grows
Not one that comes and goes
That's all I want from you
A sunny day with hopes up
to the skies
Not a day that comes and
dies
That's all I want from you
Don't let me down, oh show
me that you care
Remember when you give, you
also get your share
Don't let me down, I have
no time to wait
Tomorrow might not come,
when dreamers dream too late
A little love that slowly
grows and grows
Not one that comes and goes
That's all I want from you
A sunny day with hopes up
to the skies
Not one that comes and dies
That's all I want from you
Don't let me down, oh show
me that you care
Remember when you give, you
also get your share
Don't let me down, I have
no time to wait
Tomorrow might not come,
when dreamers dream too late
A little love that slowly
grows and grows
Not one that comes and goes
That's all I want from you
That song was introduced to us by our Grade 5 Class Adviser and I like it simply because I liked that teacher. I think she's the best mentor I've ever had. I wish I had the chance to really say thank you to her before she died....
Here's the lyrics:
A little love that slowly
grows and grows
Not one that comes and goes
That's all I want from you
A sunny day with hopes up
to the skies
Not a day that comes and
dies
That's all I want from you
Don't let me down, oh show
me that you care
Remember when you give, you
also get your share
Don't let me down, I have
no time to wait
Tomorrow might not come,
when dreamers dream too late
A little love that slowly
grows and grows
Not one that comes and goes
That's all I want from you
A sunny day with hopes up
to the skies
Not one that comes and dies
That's all I want from you
Don't let me down, oh show
me that you care
Remember when you give, you
also get your share
Don't let me down, I have
no time to wait
Tomorrow might not come,
when dreamers dream too late
A little love that slowly
grows and grows
Not one that comes and goes
That's all I want from you
Friday, February 12, 2010
Visual Memory Test
Taken from the same website in my previous entry:
Your visual memory score was 8.
You may have noticed that there were a total of eight "students" in the chess club. Four of these students won every match they played, and four lost every match they played. Thus, it was possible to learn to predict the outcome of every match -- if you learned which students were "winners" and which were "losers". The test continued until you correctly guessed the winner of eight consecutive matches, or to a maximum of 120 trials. Your score is the number of trials it took you to finish the game -- so a low number is good (8 is the best you could achieve, 120 is worst). Most healthy people who play this game finished within an average of about 20-25 trials. If you took fewer than 14 trials, you did better than 75% of than other people taking the test. If you took more than 60 trials, you did worse than 75% of the other people taking the test.
Your visual memory score was 8.
You may have noticed that there were a total of eight "students" in the chess club. Four of these students won every match they played, and four lost every match they played. Thus, it was possible to learn to predict the outcome of every match -- if you learned which students were "winners" and which were "losers". The test continued until you correctly guessed the winner of eight consecutive matches, or to a maximum of 120 trials. Your score is the number of trials it took you to finish the game -- so a low number is good (8 is the best you could achieve, 120 is worst). Most healthy people who play this game finished within an average of about 20-25 trials. If you took fewer than 14 trials, you did better than 75% of than other people taking the test. If you took more than 60 trials, you did worse than 75% of the other people taking the test.
On Memory Loss
I've been worrying about my mental health these days... I tend to forget about a lot of things. Misplaced keys, forgetting to turn off the lights, halting in the middle of a conversation because of suddenly not being able to remember the next word to say.
Have you ever experienced the same thing? Could forcing my self to forget something be a contributory factor? Or maybe it is the demands from my job? Handling so many positions/responsibilities create a lot of stress in me these past months. I wish I could live a much simpler life. I wish to just work quietly at the background. I want to enjoy life.
How could the University dump so much responsibilities on my shoulder? Only a fool could accept all these. I did and so I am. But do I have a choice?
This is sometimes demotivating.
/end of rant
Ah, going back to the topic on memory loss, I took a simple verbal memory quiz from www.memorylossonline.com and here's the result:
Your recall score was 6. Your recognition score was 39.
If you are like most people, your RECOGNITION score will be much higher than your RECALL score. Why? In part 2, you were asked to recall as many words as possible -- you were not given any clues to jog your memory, only blank lines. In part 3, you were asked to recognize words -- and in each test item, one of the two items was always correct. All you had to do was jog your memory to see which of the two items was more familiar. In general, it is always easier to recognize information than to recall it.
But now, on to what your scores mean.
First, look at your recall score. Among other healthy people who have taken this test, the average number of words recalled is about 6. A score in the neighborhood of 3-10 would be considered "normal". If you got more than 10 correct, then you are doing better than 75% of the people who took this test.
Now, look at your recognition score. Among other healthy people who have taken this test, the average number of words recalled is about 38. A score in the neighborhood of 36-40 would be considered "normal". If you got all 40 correct, then you are doing better than 75% of the people who took this test.
If your scores are at least as good as the average, congratulations!
Thank you God for somehow I am still normal.
Have you ever experienced the same thing? Could forcing my self to forget something be a contributory factor? Or maybe it is the demands from my job? Handling so many positions/responsibilities create a lot of stress in me these past months. I wish I could live a much simpler life. I wish to just work quietly at the background. I want to enjoy life.
How could the University dump so much responsibilities on my shoulder? Only a fool could accept all these. I did and so I am. But do I have a choice?
This is sometimes demotivating.
/end of rant
Ah, going back to the topic on memory loss, I took a simple verbal memory quiz from www.memorylossonline.com and here's the result:
Your recall score was 6. Your recognition score was 39.
If you are like most people, your RECOGNITION score will be much higher than your RECALL score. Why? In part 2, you were asked to recall as many words as possible -- you were not given any clues to jog your memory, only blank lines. In part 3, you were asked to recognize words -- and in each test item, one of the two items was always correct. All you had to do was jog your memory to see which of the two items was more familiar. In general, it is always easier to recognize information than to recall it.
But now, on to what your scores mean.
First, look at your recall score. Among other healthy people who have taken this test, the average number of words recalled is about 6. A score in the neighborhood of 3-10 would be considered "normal". If you got more than 10 correct, then you are doing better than 75% of the people who took this test.
Now, look at your recognition score. Among other healthy people who have taken this test, the average number of words recalled is about 38. A score in the neighborhood of 36-40 would be considered "normal". If you got all 40 correct, then you are doing better than 75% of the people who took this test.
If your scores are at least as good as the average, congratulations!
Thank you God for somehow I am still normal.
Tomorrow's Plans
Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, spend a year there, buy and sell, and make a profit”; whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away. Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we shall live and do this or that.” But now you boast in your arrogance. All such boasting is evil.
- James 4:13-16
- James 4:13-16
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Our Involvement
An important part of praying is a willingness to be part of the answer.
- Our Daily Bread
- Our Daily Bread
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Internet and Productivity
Once I connect to the internet
I become unproductive.
I keep reading one blog after another
Until I become oblivious of time
I should stop procrastinating
I have lots and lots of things to do
Things needing my attention and mercy
But what am I doing here?
Lord, please help me to number
My days aright
That I may gain
A heart of wisdom...
I become unproductive.
I keep reading one blog after another
Until I become oblivious of time
I should stop procrastinating
I have lots and lots of things to do
Things needing my attention and mercy
But what am I doing here?
Lord, please help me to number
My days aright
That I may gain
A heart of wisdom...
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Life.Work.Plans
My fingers are itching to touch the keys
So many things to write about
The day was so loooong and tiring
and I want to voice my rants....
But ranting will not do
any good to me
And so, instead, to You dear Lord
I bring my plea
Order my steps in Your Word
Guide me and lead me everyday.
So many things to write about
The day was so loooong and tiring
and I want to voice my rants....
But ranting will not do
any good to me
And so, instead, to You dear Lord
I bring my plea
Order my steps in Your Word
Guide me and lead me everyday.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Keys
I can't find my office keys. I must have left them locked inside the office. Arghh... I need to consume tons of memory enhancing foods. I keep forgetting things. Why, why, why? I am too young for this. The one I want to forget is him. Not my things. Why do I keep on remembering the person I need to forget and forget the things I need to keep?
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Relentless Heart
Why does my heart still ache whenever I think of you? Is four years not enough to erase all the memories? I wish my heart develops a selective amnesia... But is it really my heart that remembers you? Isn't it supposed to be the work of the mind? Impossible though because my mind doesn't like you. Only my heart loves you.
Had only both my heart and my mind agreed to accept, I could have married you a long time ago.
Everything is now of the past though... 'cause you are probably married by now.
But even if you were still single, there's no point of considering. We are simply two worlds apart. Different culture. Different creed. Different priorities in life. My love for you will not be able to survive the weight of REALITY. It will simply be crushed.
Painful as it may be, my heart should learn to forget.
Had only both my heart and my mind agreed to accept, I could have married you a long time ago.
Everything is now of the past though... 'cause you are probably married by now.
But even if you were still single, there's no point of considering. We are simply two worlds apart. Different culture. Different creed. Different priorities in life. My love for you will not be able to survive the weight of REALITY. It will simply be crushed.
Painful as it may be, my heart should learn to forget.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Getting over
It's nearly one month but I can't still get over my lost umbrella. Am I being very possessive? Materialistic? Too attached?
Possessive? Nah! I value relationships, friendships, family... but I am not possessive.
Materialistic? I don't really own things aside from those that are really essential.
Too attached? Ah, maybe. Somehow. Sort of. I hate losing things.
What am I doing here?
Possessive? Nah! I value relationships, friendships, family... but I am not possessive.
Materialistic? I don't really own things aside from those that are really essential.
Too attached? Ah, maybe. Somehow. Sort of. I hate losing things.
What am I doing here?
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