It feels good to feel lost (from the eyes of everyone) in this bloggyworld.

Haaauhhh... I don't know what to do with my life. I have countless of tasks to do but I don't have the drive to do them. All I want is to leave this place -- my current job. Can't find a pinch of joy staying here.

But where do I go from here?

Things to float in my mind:

Shall I get a PhD? Is it worth it?
Shall I transfer to a private firm/industry? where?
Shall I process my paper for migrating to Aus? Do I have the resources?
Shall I go home and find a teaching post in the general science courses? Will it be a good help?
Shall I find a research job in my former univ?
Shall I? Shall I? Shall I?

So many considerations. So many insecurities. So many things that rips me the joy of living.

I need a stronger Hand to carry me. I am hopeless on my own.

I will be silent to ** about it from now on... until my plans come to pass.
Please guide my way, Lord.

I don't want to keep reconstructing my comment for that one particular blog entry. I really wanted to participate but my mind is so lazy in putting up coherence into my thoughts. ahhhh...maybe I'll just focus on the task that I really need to do.

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Can't decide still about what i will do with my life...

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God, please help me put back to my soul the joy of living. Please help me understand and appreciate the essence of my existence.

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Australia, current work, SC near home? Which of these? Shall I strive to find a scholarship support for my PhD? But I don't want to be tied up here in the univ forever. I want to soar free.... The longer I stay here, the more it becomes clear that this place is not my home.

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Where really is my place under the sun? Please tell me if you know.