I am often caught saying that i'll get married after 40 years. but deep inside my heart is this question so stubborn, unwilling to take its leave: is there someone out there for me? who is he? what is he made of? will there ever come a time for our path to me meet? maybe after 40 years.

Ah, I should stop mentioning about '40 years'.

I still think of him often but it seems very obvious that he is not for me. I wish i can completely forget him. Forget everything about him!