The regret of not being able to present - when you wanted to but did not - because of insecurities... Pathetic. Change your mindset. NOW.

TED

Logged to write about something Which I totally can't remember anymore. Memory - or maybe the lack of it. The effect of over stimulation of the amygdala. Will try to work on healing my brain....

Breathe Out

What is stressing you out? Your sister? Pissed with your mother? Hated your self? Is this the life that you want? No? Then how will you correct this? Where will you start picking the shattered pieces of yourself? Why do you lack self confidence? Why can't you start with that writing task? Where is your enthusiasm? What drives your life? Hated yourself for spending so much time on candy crush? Have you deactivated your facebook account yet? Yes? Good! Why are you not replying to the messages of your superiors? Of your friends? When will you start writing that proposal? When will you decide to manage your time - and to religiously stick to it? How are you now? Do you like the life that you have? Why are you frozen at the thought of later - of tomorrow? Do you fear criticisms? Have you not criticized others yourself? You ask God to forgive you, but are capable of forgiving - yourself and others? Act now. Don't let the failure in the past continue to chain your present. I love you. I love you. Call out to God. Don't forget Him. He is more than able to change you. He wants you to be happy. To live a fulfilling life. Don't waste it. Don't waste time. I love you. I love you. I am sorry.

How do I deal correctly with heartache and disappointment caused by unfair judgment? Why set minimum requirements and not stick on it? What's with you people? What gives?

tired of waiting... anxious about the arriving of THE news all i need is a hint. a dot-like hint. why are you denying me such a peace of mind? On one hand: My peace of mind should not be dependent on you Or on the news I've been longing to hear from YOU. So what if? So what if not? I am alive now, and that is all that matters. ---- God please help me to enjoy every moment I never expected that waiting would take this long. Nevertheless, help me to wait, to learn, to enjoy life. I would like to throw away my anxiety and replace it with the peace that comes from You alone. Amen.

Grace

Lord, I am praying for that one good news to pop out of my email -- or maybe that long awaited sound from my cellphone. Either way, Lord, I am hoping for grace. Thank you.

Empty, void, null, zero.

this sadness squeezes my heart for no reason.
no reason at all? i can't say for sure.

is it because of tonight's celebration?
or that tangy comment i heard this afternoon?
or maybe the sight of so many crossroads
yet the feeling of nowhere to go?

i wanna leave. i wanna leave because i want to live.
God please guide my steps.


where could I go? oh where could I go?
seeking a refuge for my soul...
needing a friend to help me in the end.
where could I go but to the Lord.